#1. here is the plan. or at least *a* plan
I don’t think I ever fully believed in Santa Claus. Over time, I noticed he wasn’t real. I didn’t mind. Christmas was still fun.
At some point I stopped believing in ghosts, though, and that was kind of a problem. That meant on Halloween, the chances of getting spirited away between street lights on my trick-or-treat route was not a fun ’n’ creepy 10 percent, but 0.
As a teen, in October, I read horror novels and watched horror movies and played horror video games, but still, I couldn’t garner the enthusiasm for Halloween I’d once had. The anticipation was more fun than the celebration. My favorite holiday had become kinda boring. I felt guilty.
Are you familiar with cognitive behavioral therapy? It trains you to resist ten forms of twisted thinking. One of these thought patterns is “should statements.” Basically, that’s when you set up a bunch of invisible, secret tests for yourself and others and get mad when anyone fails them. I was testing Halloween (it should be the best day of the year) and myself (I should be having fun), and it wasn’t productive, and the only option seemed to be to GET OVER IT.
But that totally wasn’t the only option!!!!!!!!!
Another option was to CARE EVEN MORE. It was to TAKE HALLOWEEN INTO MY OWN HANDS. It was to POUR MY HEART AND SOUL into something that might DISAPPOINT ME ANYWAY.
Aaaaaaand we’re off! (src)
Past tense not accurate. I haven’t actually succeeded at this yet. But I’ve begun preparations: last Friday, I ordered a blue drink for delivery, took a pink drink out of the fridge, and ordered Halloween stuff from seven sellers on eBay. I was done with both drinks by the time I placed the orders and accidentally sent everything to my old address.
I did manage to reroute six of these items. The light-up black cobweb table runner has not yet arrived. And, tragically, a spool of discontinued Martha Stewart Halloween ribbon is now in the hands of my previous landlord. I don’t know if I have it in me to arrange a pick-up. Especially because my pharmacy sent some medication to her last month and I simply pretended it did not happen. I hope she enjoys the ribbon.
Anyway, here’s my haul so far.
An Inventory
Martha Stewart Living, October 2018
Set of bat-shaped border hole punches
The Best of Martha Stewart Halloween Handbook, 2010
Used book on book crafts (not specifically intended for Halloween use, but I suspect it will come in handy)
Two pads of Halloween-print craft paper
Oversize reproductions of vintage Halloween cards
Three lanterns with photographic moon print (plus stick-on bats)
The Best of Martha Stewart Living: Halloween*
*Flipping through this book, I discovered a betrayal both DEEPLY PERSONAL and DEEPLY UNIMPORTANT. Will tell you about it later.
And in conclusion, I hope you liked my newsletter
This Halloween has every reason to more closely resemble those of my high school years. I can’t go to a haunted house or a party; I can’t hang out with a big group of friends or make new ones. There will be no hayrides, no trick-or-treating, no costume contest in the work pantry. Plus the world is thoroughly and unwaveringly horrifying, and this Halloween will fall only days before [REDACTED STRESSOR].
But I’m not hedging my bets. I’m going all in on Halloween 2020. It’s going to be the freaking best, no questions asked. I know it is! I’ve got plans. I’ve got confidence. This Halloween should be the best yet. Is that twisted thinking??? Then
Haunted Miscellany
This live-action haunted Disney singalong, which we watched annually on VHS in elementary school chorus, has stuck with me in a way that like, geometry class simply has not
I believed in ghosts hardcore as a tween entirely thanks to this website.
God I can’t wait for this year’s Six Crazy Frights
Have a Halloween memory, tip, or link you’d like to share? Reply to this e-mail and I’ll include it in the next letter!
🎃 HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN: 91 DAYS 🎃